I'm sorry he doesn't come around or take care of his kids. But in all honesty, what did you expect? He didn't ask to marry you. He didn't even take you somewhere nice to hit it. You let him go raw in the truck. This is your decision. You could have easily prevented this entire situation. But you didn't. Time to take responsibility. Stop talking about all men like that in front of your child. What do you think this is doing to their image of men in general? What about any relationship they might want to enjoy with their father, just like you wanted when you were little? Is it the child's fault that you were silly enough to sleep with a man you weren't sure would be there forever? Is it the child's fault mommy likes "bad boys" or " soldiers" or dates men with no jobs or degrees or cars or knowledge of God or sense enough to use a condom at very least? Let's be honest, your baby daddy was crap before you had his baby, but you thought he was sexy. Don't blame that on him. You fell for it. That's you. Unless he raped you, your just as responsible for being a single mom as he is.
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| What a child needs is a Mother... |
Obviously I'm not talking neccesarily to divorced mothers, as those situations vary.
If you left your husband for the safety of yourself or your children ( including infidelity-stds are DEADLY) , I applaud you.But if you left him because things got tight financially, then you jumped the gun. You are meant to be his helper and his support, not his dependent. If you aren't with your man because "he was trying to control me" (non-abusively) then you will never find a man. Being a wife ( that is your goal right?) is about submission. Let me rephrase that for you "independent women" readers. If you don't love, respect. trust, believe in, or are willing to follow that man's lead where ever he leads you, then why did you open your legs? Men are not just walking around handing out babies. There's a process-maybe you remember it? Or are you blaming the a-a-a-a-alcohol? Or the weed? Or the pills? Or are you not sure who should be signing the checks?
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| ...not a Model. |
Look, have a little respect for yourself, sista. Get out the club looking for Mr. Right. He's not there. He has work in the morning. Don't confuse boys with men. You don't keep finding bad men, you keep accepting bad boys. What do you have to offer a man? He already has a car, a job, a home, and a goal for his life. He wants a lover, not a fling. He wants a meal, not a paper bag. He wants a clean home to come home to, not a bill from the maid. He wants a family, not visitation rights and wage garnishment. He wants to lead you, not be belittled by you. Can you offer those things? Have you become the WOMAN that a MAN wants? Don't be fooled by this "independent woman" foolishness. Even Beyonce got married. Think about it.
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| Keep This from happening Single Mothers! |
If not for you then for your children. How can they learn to really love a spouse if they've never seen it? How can they learn to abstain if they meet a new dude every couple weeks? How can you discipline and nurture and not confuse that child? It wasn't meant to be that way. You made a mistake. Now wake up before you make more that lead your child down the same path.
Yarahyahu
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